so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Randomize
