You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
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