Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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