he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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