Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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