Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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