if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
