she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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