Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
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