margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize