he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Randomize
