I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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