too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Randomize
