how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I want a musical about memes.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize
