Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
