I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize
