Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
