i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
