I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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