i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Randomize
