Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
