Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Randomize
