5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Randomize
