i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
that may or may not have been my penis.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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