They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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