I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
