Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
