You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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