i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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