we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
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