ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
