Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
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