Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Randomize
