I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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