i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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