I puked a lego.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Randomize
