tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
