stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I could make wine with my vomit
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Randomize
