I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
