Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
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