I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
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