This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
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