Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
