remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Randomize
