yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize