wake up i wanna do it froggy style
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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