scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
