you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
