everyone is single if you try hard enough
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
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