Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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