I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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