So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Why did my mother make you get naked?
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
