White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Randomize
