I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
