i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Dick very happy bro
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
