Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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