margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize
