so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Randomize
