i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
