I'm drive I can fine osifer
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize
