I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
