everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
