Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize
