Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
