there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
