I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
I just found a bag of teeth...
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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