I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
